Updated 04/10/2026
A true story
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About My Book, Crackmask
Crackmask is my story, told the only way I know how. I grew up in Bolton in circumstances that would make most people run for the hills, and at one point I very nearly didn’t make it out at all. There was an attempted murder that could easily have ended everything before my life had even begun. I don’t go into gory detail in the book, but I do explain how that moment became the turning point. It was the day I decided I was done being a victim and I was going to be a survivor, whatever it took. Oddly enough, that determination eventually led me into a life of buffoonery. I became a silent slapstick performer, a circus teacher, a charity founder, and a man who has spent far too much time falling over in front of large crowds.
Over the last forty years, I managed to entertain almost a million people, and that really isn’t an exaggeration. I’ve performed in jungle hill tribe villages in Southeast Asia, the only French cabaret in Shanghai, posh old colonial venues in Bombay, Singapore and Indonesia, beside John Lennon’s star in Central Park, across the UAE, and in pretty much every major city in Europe. I even ended up doing a couple of shows in Inuit settlements in Lapland, which wasn’t something I ever expected when I first learned to juggle. And of course there was my time in Toxteth, Liverpool, in the 1990s, when it was still a no‑go zone for the police (or Scouse-Bizzies), and I taught circus skills to any scallies brave enough to give it a go.
Crackmask is my story, told the only way I know how. I grew up in Bolton in circumstances that would make most people run for the hills, and at one point I very nearly didn’t make it out at all. There was an attempted murder that could easily have ended everything before my life had even begun. I don’t go into gory detail in the book, but I do explain how that moment became the turning point. It was the day I decided I was done being a victim and I was going to be a survivor, whatever it took. Oddly enough, that determination eventually led me into a life of buffoonery. I became a silent slapstick performer, a circus teacher, a charity founder, and a man who has spent far too much time falling over in front of large crowds.
Over the last forty years, I managed to entertain almost a million people, and that really isn’t an exaggeration. I’ve performed in jungle hill tribe villages in Southeast Asia, the only French cabaret in Shanghai, posh old colonial venues in Bombay, Singapore and Indonesia, beside John Lennon’s star in Central Park, across the UAE, and in pretty much every major city in Europe. I even ended up doing a couple of shows in Inuit settlements in Lapland, which wasn’t something I ever expected when I first learned to juggle. And of course there was my time in Toxteth, Liverpool, in the 1990s, when it was still a no‑go zone for the police (or Scouse-Bizzies), and I taught circus skills to any scallies brave enough to give it a go.
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One of the real highlights was performing in front of Robin Williams, who wandered into my big top circus tent and laughed so hard he practically rolled into the aisles. That was in the mid‑1990s, when I was also working alongside legends like Sir Ken Dodd, Norman Wisdom and Ron Moody... yes, Fagin himself.
Now and then I’d also cross paths with Paul O’Grady, better known as Lily Savage, who was tearing up the cabaret scene at the time. They were all kind enough not to laugh at me when I wasn’t supposed to be funny, which is more than I can say for some audiences. This book is not a celebrity memoir. It is a collection of true stories from a life lived a little more than slightly sideways. Some parts are funny, some parts are painful, and some parts will make you wonder how I managed to survive long enough to write any of it down. But underneath all the chaos and comedy, Crackmask is really about something simple and important. It is about refusing to let the worst moments of my life define the rest of it. It is about finding resilience in unlikely places, discovering joy where none should exist, and learning that even the most damaged beginnings do not have to decide the ending. If you enjoy real stories of survival, adventure, comedy, and the occasional moment of complete chaos, you will feel right at home here. And if you have ever wondered whether a person can climb out of the darkest places and still build a life full of meaning, mischief, and unexpected magic, Crackmask will give you the answer. |
I never imagined I’d end up with a book in the British Library.
A few years ago, I was standing in the Bodleian Library in Oxford, UK, surrounded by "dead" clever peeps, hoping nobody noticed I didn’t belong. Now my book’s on the British Library shelves. Funny old world, innit... |
CRACKMASK IS THREE BOOKS IN ONE!
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Eddie, with his eight-foot-high unicycle.
This picture has been made into a bookmark and comes free with every book purchased directly from Eddie.
SCROLL PAST REVIEWS FOR DETAILS
This picture has been made into a bookmark and comes free with every book purchased directly from Eddie.
SCROLL PAST REVIEWS FOR DETAILS
Just a few Crackmask reviews...
A hand written review of Crackamsk left for Eddie at the Museum of Buffoonery in Southport
04/08/2026. A Truly Wonderful 5 Star Crackmask Review! 02/08/2025. New Reader Review... 21/07/2026. Wow! Look at this 5 Star Amazon review of my book, from a Doctor/Lecturer in performing arts at The University of Salford! |
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Still not sure?
Before you buy the book, you can see part of the story in Eddie's TV Documentary, for free...
"That Fat Bloke from Bolton"
GET YOUR OWN SIGNED COPY OF CRACKMASK
DIRECTLY FROM EDDIE
Eddie says… No fancy stuff here. When you order my book, I pack it myself, take it to the Post Office, and send it with proper tracking so you can follow it.
If you buy through this website, you get a free handmade bookmark, and I’ll sign your copy to your name. I usually write: With thanks for following my journey. Or I can add your own short message, under ten words.
The price includes 2nd class UK postage. For orders outside the UK, please add a rounded‑up estimate of postage to your country.
It’s cheaper to buy directly from the Museum of Buffoonery Book Shop in Southport, but you must arrange your visit in advance through the Contact Page.
Or you can get it on Amazon if you don’t need a signed copy or bookmark (£14.99 plus postage, or Prime).
Crackmask is the true story of a damaged childhood, a life lived behind a mask, and the long, stubborn climb back to clarity. It’s about trauma, survival, humour, and the strange places a broken start in life can take you. I spent decades performing, travelling, and trying to outrun the past, until the day I finally stopped and faced it. This book is the result. Raw, sometimes funny, sometimes bleak, but always honest.
If you buy through this website, you get a free handmade bookmark, and I’ll sign your copy to your name. I usually write: With thanks for following my journey. Or I can add your own short message, under ten words.
The price includes 2nd class UK postage. For orders outside the UK, please add a rounded‑up estimate of postage to your country.
It’s cheaper to buy directly from the Museum of Buffoonery Book Shop in Southport, but you must arrange your visit in advance through the Contact Page.
Or you can get it on Amazon if you don’t need a signed copy or bookmark (£14.99 plus postage, or Prime).
Crackmask is the true story of a damaged childhood, a life lived behind a mask, and the long, stubborn climb back to clarity. It’s about trauma, survival, humour, and the strange places a broken start in life can take you. I spent decades performing, travelling, and trying to outrun the past, until the day I finally stopped and faced it. This book is the result. Raw, sometimes funny, sometimes bleak, but always honest.
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Eddie's Links: https://www.facebook.com/Percey.Veer.Southport/ https://youtu.be/UXqWHaC2DAs https://www.that-fat-bloke-from-bolton-uk.org/ https://www.facebook.com/eddie.haworth Visitors from www.gohappiness.org can contact Eddie Haworth here: CONTACT |
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